Getting real

Today was an honest day. We spent the day together, speaking our deepest truths to each other, crying, staying close. There were apologies, tears, regrets, more apologies...In the end, we were able to put it in perspective, knowing that we could, and will, get through this.

It was a knockout beautiful day here at the Coast.

Our place is so stunningly beautiful it's hard to imagine having to give it up. We are home here but one of the truths that came out today is how there is a way that the place is so powerful, so amazing, that the relationship can sometimes feel secondary to the house and the land. We wonder what it will be like to live life in a regular place, in a regular way.

We strategized, putting the beginnings of a plan in place. We need to take it down a few notches. There's still so much to be done. To rush into selling this place before it's truly finished will cost us dearly. Not to mention the stress & upset. It doesn't make good sense... Step One we're thinking, will be to ready our other property for sale first. Long Knoll is 45 acres a half mile up the hill. Don's dream. We must give it up as well if we are to have a retirement income that will see us through. The worry is what if it doesn't sell? What if this house doesn't sell? These are weird times. Nothing is certain. There are problems with the land, no septic, no water. We'll have to spend quite a lot of money to get both it and the house ready for market, leaving us dangerously close to the edge. But what choice do we have?

It's going to take some time to really get that our life has come to this. We've had a series of serious setbacks that find us in this situation. Investments gone terribly wrong. Our nice neat retirement portfolio in shambles. We worked hard for years to get to a place where we felt we were in good shape--that we could afford to build this dream house, and even buy another piece of property. We were foolish, naive, in denial. It could have worked if the economy kept cooking along. But how could it? It wasn't sustainable for things to keep going up, up, up.

It's time for bed...to be continued.